About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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