HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
