She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I could fuck to npr.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
