Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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