like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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