you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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