Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
