turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
