I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
