Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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