he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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