Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Food network will be on but we won't be watching

(1-248): View more from Michigan

O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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(434): View more from Virginia

He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

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(518): View more from New York

I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide

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(214): View more from Texas

She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter

(214): View more from Texas

Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.

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(905): View more from Ontario

It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

(314): View more from Missouri

The student becomes the teacher.

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(904): View more from Florida

He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.

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(907): View more from Alaska

He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!

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