the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
