i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
