Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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