halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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