RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
