Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
