32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
