Me too!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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