We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
