New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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