True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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