So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
