One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
