is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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