brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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