Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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