He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I AM VODKA MAN
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
