i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
