in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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