This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
