Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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