I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
