if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
did you just send me my own nude
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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