strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
