Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
