It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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