Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
