I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
