There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
