Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
