I showed him my bush... on skype.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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