She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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