I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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