Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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