I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
