i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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