The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
