you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
